Tag Archives: stress

Why Monday Morning Blues During Happy Hour Sunset?

How could they be my friends and spend a lovely Sunday evening (while they could have been watching a magnificent sunset change from vibrant colors to muted tones) talking about how they were dreading going to work the next day. Both very intelligent, well-paid professionals were planning for their Monday Morning Blues.

“Why don’t you find jobs that you would love to do?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.

“It’s not that I don’t like my job, I would just prefer not to work,” one said.

“My job is filled with joy,” I said, realizing this would ruin their fun in complaining about their jobs, and make me an outsider. “Monday mornings are great, because I get to dive in to what I love doing.”

“You are not normal,” said the second, with a tone close to disgust, “I have to work at my stressful job until I can get my full retirement, because we want to be able to do lots of traveling when I’m done with it.”

“You’re your own boss, Kathy, so you don’t know what it’s like to have to work at a job where you have to do what others decide you should be doing,” said the other person.

“Yes, I created a work situation that gives me the freedom to be myself,” I said, “which, by the way, doesn’t give me retirement benefits. I’ll never retire. I look forward to working at doing something that I love doing for the rest of my life. I’m not waiting to have freedom, I have freedom.”

Eyes rolled and they both ordered another drink.

“You are not normal,” they said, in unison this time – with shared disgust in both their voices. “Part of the fun of Happy Hour is complaining about your job. Stop being a party pooper.”

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Like Forcing Water to Flow Uphill

Having spent a good part of the past weekend on a steep hillside, trying to get my amateur watering system to flow up to outlying trees, I was reminded of it being an analogy for conative stress.

Trying to get water to flow up hill is like dealing with:

1. Barriers to Innovation:
Convincing a determined Fact Finder boss that something that has never been done before could work well.

2. Inflexibility:
Getting a mega Follow Thru to adjust the schedule.

3. Misplaced Dependency:
Waiting for an empowered person, who is short on Implementor, to repair equipment.

4. Overcoming conative Conflict:
Having to get two totally opposite conative people to work together cooperatively.

5. False expectations:
Getting your short-lined Follow Thru friends to RSVP – or even find the invitation.

6. Endless Inertia:
Watching a team of conative clones trying to get something done.

7. Stunting Growth:
Helping an entrepreneurial Quick Start stick with the tried and true.

8. Making a Temporary Fix:
Making it easier for a conative Facilitator to choose a side – any side.

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“Unacceptables”

UNACCPETABLES”
(Kathy Kolbe)

It’s unacceptable to say you’re doing everything you can, when all you’re doing is thinking about it.

It’s
unacceptable to confuse natural conflict in conative ways of getting things done with ‘personality problems.’

It’s unacceptable say you’re brainstorming then tell a contributor “You’ve already had a turn.”

It’s unacceptable to think one conative MO makes you more intelligent than another ( as per college entrance exams).

It’s unacceptable to label someone a leader when they don’t bring out the best in other people. 

 


It’s unacceptable to tell a kid he or she did a good job when they didn’t make a commitment to the task.

It’s unacceptable to waste years of education to learn to do something for which you’re not naturally well suited. 
 


It’s
unacceptable to evaluate people on whether they did a good job of doing it your way, instead of on the results they achieved
 


It’s
unacceptable for us to ask each other to do things in ways that set us up for failure
 



It’s
unacceptable to drug kids because their natural abilities require them to learn in ways that don’t fit the conative MO of education system.

It’s
unacceptable to label a kid ADD or ADHD when the system is not enabling them to use their God-given conative strengths.

It’s
unacceptable to say testing for selection is racially biased when the Kolbe A Index has proven unbiased by gender, age and race. 


It’s unacceptable to say women do things differently from men when conative research proves that’s just not true. 



It’s
unacceptable for the academic world to demean conative drive, the energy behind how we get things done.

It’s unacceptable for you not to know your natural abilities. Find out what you do best http://kolbe.com

From Kathy Kolbe’s tweets, July 10, 2009

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Filed under Business, Education, Self-Help